We have two needs that drive us to grow emotionally. Our need for connection and our need for expression. We need to feel a sense of belonging whether that is with several social groups of friends or a romantic relationship. Our need for expression is the need for our voice to be heard and for our ideas to make a difference; This is usually carried out by our occupations but can also be fulfilled through creative expression. A lack in one however will rob you of fulfillment in the other.

So if you’re not feeling very driven by your work—it could be that your emotionally driven self is in dire need for more connection in your life. On the flip side…well I personally can’t imagine what that might feel like. Our American society—as career driven workaholics—will also likely relate more closely with the former. Either way, we can easily impede our emotional growth by living with the ongoing and seemingly normal resultant struggles.

We all have an inner drive for growth as a person—that drive won’t leave us alone until its needs have been met. It is what gets us to do the things that go against the logical choice in favor for something that answers the call of our deep selves. If the drive continues to be ignored, we may become paralyzed falling into depression or anxiety. Now for the cool part: What if that sequence leading toward a breakdown is our way—by design—of creating a breakthrough in our emotional growth? When in a breakdown, we don’t have the pleasantries of satisfaction or focus but are instead left with a heightened strength to persevere. The driving need has taken our attention forcefully leaving no choice but to make the change we’ve needed in our lives. 

The need for that change may have been ignored, but more commonly is something we simply were not aware of or did not understand. Think back—when was the last time you hit a low point…and what kind of change got you out of that? Those are hard questions, but it’s good to reflect on them to avoid repeating the process.